13 Comments
Jan 11, 2022Liked by Jamie Ryan

Very interesting - I think you captured a lot of what drive narcissists like Sy.

One part that stuck out to me was your description of your own experience as an NDM. From one perspective, your behavior at that point fell into NDM territory because you were consciously working to influence people's views of you. However, from another perspective, you were simply being *you* - perhaps not the "true" you (whatever that means), but the you who was hurt and tired and needed a way out. It seems like there's only a blurry line between the people we pretend to be and ourselves; as Vonnegut put it, “we are what we pretend to be”.

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Nov 23, 2023Liked by Jamie Ryan

Just... thank you!

I've had to go pretty deep into videos/writing on how to heal/protect oneself from all the various forms of narcissism (mostly to heal the wounds from a mom whos top tier).

The self-defensive strategies, honesty, refection, and voice that come out on this piece was so personal, clear, honest, validating and strengthening! I appreciated the stories you told about your own need to be perceived in good terms by others; I find that can be so tricky to parse that out as a natural human need when one has been wounded by narcissists, judge them heavily, and are terrifyingly afraid to become one (and yet inevitably still have an ego).

This piece just felt so real and refreshing, thanks a ton!

..and I had a great ol chuckle at the part about being concerned for the persons' own self judgement in the car that almost ran you over - intense!

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wow, some of the best writing I've seen on the topic. I'm new to your sub stack after reading your lex Fridman thread, and just read all the articles you have up and wanted more hahah. I really hope you keep writing if you find the time and desire to!

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Jan 5, 2023Liked by Jamie Ryan

i love this.

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Fantastic breakdown of an archetype - and description of various skill levels of such types. Sent this to a few friends of mine who have more extensive experience with such folks. NDM is an outstanding term I learned today to coalesce many of the behaviors I've seen in the past but couldn't quite put my finger on. Bravo.

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Great read. Have you ever tried to go deep with any of these people you’ve encountered to wade into their traumas, or whatever else, with the purpose to get them to realize (potentially change) in the way that you have?

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Nice writing, mate

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